Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
