But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
