me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Damn victory sex feels great
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
