That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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