No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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