...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
