I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
