She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
