definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
