Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
