Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
