Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
