She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
