Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
