i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
