Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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