When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
