Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
