Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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