If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
