The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
