Will you blow on my dice?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Someone came in the potted fern
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
