so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
