she was so not down for the gang bang
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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