she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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