oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Found your dick twin last night
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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