names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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