He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
