I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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