Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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