honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
