I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
