Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
