I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
