I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
