Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
well you can't waste a boner
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
