I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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