There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
