bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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