i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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