This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
