it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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