Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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