I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
