Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
