Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
