Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You made out with two different species that night
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
