Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
