i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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