i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
